Fun-size
by ZorasimplyZora
Summary: As usual, our favorite Brit is screwed, as he has to deal with a hostile France wearing a toga and armed with a wooden sword, America insisting he's the hero, Russia being scared of hamsters, and Germany is adorable. And all of the biscuits are gone. One more thing, small does not mean fun size. "Cookies!" They all screamed. In five minutes, it was a cookie massacre.
1. This is a fun start!

**Please read this authors note for once!**

**Hello! Yes, this is my newest fan-fic, mainly written due to extra time from the snow. Seriously, they are now cutting days off of spring break. On the bright side, five-day weekend! woot!  
Anyway, this is the first part of my new fic. This is only an introduction, but so far I have roughly 2½ of the ten chapters for this fic, as it is mainly a way for me to relieve boredom. However, since this is only the beginning, please bear with me.  
Yes, there is an oc in this fic. Normally people write England and France as the protagonists, but since France has a different role, well, the other characters I could switch him with I have never really written anything about them. The Oc is named Portugal, and there is another fic of mine devoted to her, and with her character info. There is some mild EngPort in this first chapter, but if you guys don't want please tell me and I'll have her out by the end of the third chapter and keep it more England-centric (no shippings though, this is not really a romance fic). If you guys do want her to stay, unfortunately I think it's still going to be mild.  
For the fangirls, there is only brotherly CanAme, apparently friendly RusAme, and England dealing with a naked France in the most hysterical way possible. Also, a tots, adorable Germany. No, this does not mean what you think it does, ya pervert.  
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. There, done.**

World Meeting  
2:56pm, Lisbon, Portugal

It was time's like these that reminded China he was the oldest nation. This frustration mainly happened whenever his fellow nations acted like a five-year-old mortal."Verdammit! Prussia put down the squirt gun!" How Germany managed to act so mature when he was Prussia's little brother and one of the youngest nations was a mystery. Until you put candy or cake in front of him.

"KESESESESE! I will never surrender, for I am the awesome Prussia suckers!" China ducked as a stream of water headed his way. Rolling his eyes, China simply took out his wok, deflecting the other blasts. Finally, Germany had enough sense to tackle his older brother.

"How did you sneak into the meeting, again!" Germany demanded as he kept Prussia in a headlock.

"Ouch! I just snuck into your car! God, not the hair!" Prussia struggled out of Germany's death grip. His wild white hair stuck up in different places, charged with static energy. Hungary looked up in interest.

"Need help Germany?" she asked, smirking at Prussia. He glowered back.

"_Nein_, I'm fine," Germany responded, struggling with Prussia. "Actually, could you get the duct tape?"

"So through my industries I have managed to stabilize my economy at the moment and I am working to decrease the debt…" Portugal stood at front of the room, still plowing through her speech. China assumed the Portuguese woman must have experience dealing with the other Europeans, thanks to the E.U. Even so, China could tell that her chlorophyll-green eyes looked tired. A strand of hair fell in front of her eyes, and she barely even noticed.

"Oi! Frog! What the bloody hell!" And that would be Opium, better known as England. His bushy brows bent into a glare towards the Frenchman. Snails crawled on Opium's back, courtesy of France. Spain muttered something underneath his breath, and his hand slid underneath the table. There must have been a bet on how many snails France could get to crawl on Opium's back. "Ack! Get those blasted creatures off of me!"

"If you wish to leave, you can as this meeting is officially over." Portugal finally finished her speech, and sat down in one of the few unoccupied seats in the room: in between France and England. A smirk tugging at her lips, she flicked a snail off of England's back. "France, I must admit that is a waste of snails." England scowled at her, and she chuckled. Closing her eyes, Portugal leaned back in her chair.

On France's right sat America, his feet on the table and a coffee in his hand. The blond still seemed alert compared to the other nations, but also was more focused on the coffee than the meeting itself. His sky-blue eyes sparkled as he watched the oncoming fight with interest. "Ew, Francey-pants, not one of your better pranks," Alfred said, brushing one of the snails off of Opium's back. "Geez, how can you eat these?"

"A little, or in this case a lot, of butter goes a long way America," France replied smoothly.

The other countries slowly left, mostly disinterested as nothing new was happening. A few remained, but there were mainly just talking quietly. China duly noted how the Baltics were the first to leave. "Those nations are so childish in fighting, -da?" China stiffened. "I hope they do not hurt Portugal in their fighting." China looked at Russia surprised.

"I thought you did not know Portugal. She is on the other end of the European continent and tiny compared to you ~aru," Russia simply shrugged.

"She is a good comrade of big sister Ukraine, and has never hurt her. Belarus is fine with her actually, though I don't know why," Portugal had managed to fall asleep, even with the two bickering nations on either side of her. The pale blond man chuckled as she let out an unladylike snore. Russia finally returned to his seat in between America and Germany, much to the Asian's relief. Meanwhile America and Germany stopped their discussion to glare at Russia. Russia simply smiled.

"China?" Japan tapped his shoulder. "Could you tell Portugal I'll meet her at her house after the meeting? I need to leave, but I do not want to disturb her." China interpreted it as _I do not want to get involved in a fight_. China suppressed the urge to roll his eyes when Portugal failed to wake up when a book slammed into the wall.

China huffed. "What is it that you want to speak with her about ~aru?"

"Just economic affairs China," Japan said narrowing his eyes at him.

"Affairs?" China asked innocently. Okay, maybe it was a bad idea to anger his little brother, but Japan always looked so cute when he blushed! Indeed, Japan's cheeks reddened, but he composed himself to glare at china. "And Japan, I thought you knew better to not be rude to your elders. I did teach you that after all."

"I only wished to discuss business with her," he said coldly. Swiftly, he walked out, with Italy trailing behind him.

Sighing, China took out his phone and typed up an email to Portugal stating Japan was going to visit. Unfortunately, he would fail to find out Portugal had bigger problems.

...line break...

"Git! You know threating me with war is an empty threat when you'll go broke! Again!" England shouted at the Frenchman. As he felt something slimy on his neck, he quickly swatted away the snail. "Dammit! Why do you spend so much money on these stupid snails anyway!"

"I may not be the best nation with money but at least I can cook!" France yelled. _That's it._ Anyone who has met England knows that he can't cook, and that was a touchy subject. England narrowed his eyes, his wand out. Without thinking, and with his wand in his hand, he got up to tackle France.

Unfortunately, his foot caught the wheel on his chair, causing him to trip. Instead of landing on a pinned France, he landed clumsily on Portugal. "Oof!" His wand hit the ground, the spell shooting out not once but several times, hitting not only France but America, Germany and Russia also.

The four cried out in protest as white strands of smoke curled around each nation, until it condensed into columns. Muffled shouts came from the columns, but cut off quickly. The smoke was so thick it was impossible to see what was happening within. Strands of what looked like glitter wrapped around the column, pulsing like a vein. "Oh bloody hell," England muttered. "f-," England cursed.

"_Ingleterra_?" a feminine voice asked from underneath him. Blushing, England quickly got off his friend and grabbed his fallen wand.

England ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry about that I was being foolish and was-"

"Trying to kill France as usual?" Portugal interrupted him. "Now what in the love of cod did you do?" Portugal demanded as she watched what was happening. Fortunately, they were the only ones left to watch what was enfolding in front of them. The white columns swirled with glittering magical energy, and the two were afraid to touch it.

"Sometimes I really hate how powerful my magic is," England murmured. Portugal shot him a dirty look. Suddenly the white smoke shot down through the floor and the two nations gasped. "I did not mean to use that spell." England finally spoke.

Sitting in place of the four nations were four children. Four incredibly adorable children. Four children who looked confused. Four humans (?) who have clearly not reached adulthood. Four reasons that England is now completely, utterly screwed.

**Ha ha, cliffy! Wait till next week for the next chapter. If you like it, review, favorite, and follow. If you don't like it, review anyway and give me constructive criticism. As long as you read that last paragraph before this note, I'm all up for ideas for this fic. If you skipped that last paragraph you are ****so**** screwed until next week.**

**Also, sorry if China and Japan are OOC, I didn't know how to write them.**


	2. Fun names

**I know, that last chapter was slow. I just needed to set up the event where England screws up. Meanwhile, you finally get your chibis. :)**

**Note: France and Germany may seem OOC, but that's because they're kids. Their personality is a bit different. Russia and America are based off of what I saw in the anime, and some of my own ideas.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the oc. I do not own Hetalia, or anything else that will show up in this fan-fic.**

"_Deus_, what have you done," Portugal muttered as she surveyed the children. "_Ingleterra_, this has got to be the worst of your magical mishaps."

The first looked to be the oldest, at around seven. A white toga hung loosely from his frame, and instead of shoes, he wore leather sandals. His blond hair looked ragged at the edges, as if someone tried to cut his hair but he was fighting them the whole time. A leather rope kept the toga around his frame, and a small wooden sword hung on it.

The second child seemed to be the youngest at around four. Like the first, he had blond hair and blue eyes, but the blond hair was much shorter and neater, and the blue eyes were a lighter color. His bangs were slightly messy in the front, but covered with an olive green hat with a feather sticking out of the side. His clothes were green lederhosen, completely spotless.

The third child seemed to be older than the second was, but not quite as old was as the first. He had pale, almost white blond hair and wide trembling violet eyes. His clothes were thick but ripped and tattered. Out of the four, he had the most baby fat around his pale cheeks. He trembled at the sight of all the people.

The fourth was a familiar sight to the Brit. A five-year-old America sat smiling on the ground, wearing a white shirt and brown pants, his face slightly dirty. His bright sky-blue eyes sparkled with curiosity. Before England could scoop him up, suddenly something tackled him to the ground "Who are you and where is Rome?" the toga-clad child demanded, a wooden sword pointed at England's throat.

"France?" England asked wide-eyed. The child looked incredibly like him, especially those confident royal blue eyes. Unfortunately, that ticked off the kid even more as the wood pressed onto England's throat.

"My name's Gaul, not France, you barbarian. Now tell me, where's Grandpa Rome?" No, this was not France. There was no way in hell he could look this threatening.

"Excuse me, but could get off my big brother?" America spoke up. "And he's not a barbanious or whatever you said. He's really nice." Reluctantly, Gaul stepped off England, and England quickly got up, brushing off some of the dirt. As America smiled up at him, England did his best to resist hugging him.

"He won't hurt me?" the violet-eyed child said brightly. America shook his head.

"Hi, my name is America, the hero. What's your name?" America said, holding his hand out to the violet-eyed kid.

"I'm Russia, and I love sunflowers and making new friends. Of course, I don't really have any friends. Everyone but big sister Ukraine picks on me," he mumbled. Portugal covered her mouth, not wanting to say "aww" at the adorable moment. Huh, Russia was not creepy as a kid, just lonely. Portugal made a mental note to try to convince Spain to hug him. Obviously though, that wasn't the problem now.

"I'll be your friend!" America said cheerily. Smiling, Russia took his hand, but America shook his head, and held out his pinky. "We need to pinky-promise. You can't break a pinky-promise, ever." Even at that warning, Russia still wrapped his finger around Americas. What the hell? England thought as he watched two mortal enemies pinky-swear.

"Deus, they are going to murder us for not stopping this, and then each other when you turn them back," Portugal whispered to England.

"Just be glad it's not a blood swear. Otherwise we would be sent to guantanamo bay or siberia," England replied. Portugal shuddered at the thought.

"Hey _filius_," Gaul nudged the youngest child. "Who are you?"

The kid swallowed for a second, fiddling with the green hat. "I'm the German Confederation," Germany. It figures that one of the most mature countries was also one of the youngest. Heck, right now he couldn't even properly pronounce his name.

"Your name's longer'n you are. Bet it's a foot longer," America commented.

"P-Prussia calls me West," Germany replied. America cocked his head to the side.

"West, I like it," America said, smiling broadly. German hesitated, then smiled back.

Finally, France noticed Portugal. "Who are you and why do look so much like Lusit-" his words cut off as Portugal muffled him with her hand. Stubbornly, he licked it but to no avail.

"Criança, I am Portugal. I will explain later but first I speak with my friend," she let go of his face, and Gaul huffed. "Just a tip, that trick doesn't work on grown-ups." Grabbing England's hand, she pulled him into a broom closet.

"What the hell did you do?" she demanded, once inside the cramped closet. England quickly took his wand again, and lit the tip so they could see in the darkness. Looking up, England winced as Portugal glared at him.

"It was supposed to be a simple hex! I must have not been thinking straight!" England protested. Portugal's glare did not soften.

"Of all places, did you have to attack him while you are staying here? Is it that impossible to control yourself? You've been fighting with him practically since we've been friends! And that was over six hundred years ago!" Portugal cried out.

"He started it!" England replied defensively, and then realized what he said. "Dammit, I sound more childish than the people out there."

Portugal took a breath. "Can you change them back?" she asked as she calmed down. "I mean, after I take a picture of Germany and France. I need the blackmail material, and Hungary will kill me if I don't take a picture of Germany as a child. Deus, he's adorable. But not Russia, I'd rather not get invaded."

"I can't change them back without the spell and I'll need my spell books…. Wait that bast-" Portugal pointing the door, "brat, is France? The kid looks like him, but acted nothing like him."

"Believe me, that's him," Portugal said, her eyes changing to the color of the sea. Arthur snapped his fingers in front of her face before she could go into memory-land. "Gaul was his name during the roman era. What Gau-er France was trying to say my old name, Lusitania," Portugal grimaced.

"Can we take them to your house for the day while I arrange a flight for us?" England said rubbing his forehead.

"Yes, I think I might still have some old toys. Actually that's probably better for America and Germany, they'll recognize the toys," Portugal replied, attempting to pace within the confined space. "Gah!" Portugal rubbed her head from banging it on the shelf. "Let's just get out of here."

England rolled his eyes and opened the door, blinking as his eyes adjusted. As the two stepped out of the closet, they found France looking up at them with interest. Shaking it off, he stretched his arms out and said, "We can't stay here."

"Why not?" Russia asked.

"This place isn't safe for kids, okay? We're going to Portugal's for now." England explained, taking his wand out again. All of you hold on to me." America climbed onto his back, and sat on his shoulders. "OW! Watch the hair America!"

"Sorry Iggy," he said giggling. Rolling his eyes, France grabbed England's arm. Nervously, Russia and Germany just clutched England's pants.

"This has got to be the most adorable blackmail material I've ever seen," Portugal said, deviously taking out her phone and snapping a picture.

"You know you can't put that online," England said, wincing as America tugged on his hair again.

"Who says I need to? I have Hungary," she said smirking. "After all, she got that marvelous footage last time you were drunk," England groaned, remembering the incident. Putting the phone back in her pocket she held England's hand and they Apparated away.

**Please review, favorite, and follow. if you have any ideas, please hit that review button! Any helpful criticism, I'll take, but please don't flame.**

**Also, since I can't really give anyone cookies I've decided every review, favorite, or follow gives a cookie to a chibi. **

**Just to help you out, there are character descriptions below, plus a note. **

**Gaul! France: Unlike his adult self, he is clearly not weak. The child is hell bent on being the next great empire. He is also determined to make the best food in the world, and out of anything. However similar to how he acts like an adult, he is knowledgeable about subjects' not so innocent, and is a picky eater. He is also prone to making Gladiator references, and has plans on becoming the best military in the world. He's defensive of his family, but has a general dislike of water. It's not that he can't swim, he just hates baths.**

**Colony! America: While this child is stronger than any adult is, and has a fascination with becoming the ultimate hero, he is fiercely loyal to Big Brother. Is perfectly content with just listening to stories and playing with people he considers friends. His 'friends' are basically anything that moves. He also loves the idea of flying, causing England to burn any ladder in the house and locking the windows. Finally the child is incredibly inventive, thanks to his wild imagination.**

**German Confederation! Germany: I'll leave it at the fact that no, Germany is not Holy Rome. France badly wounded the Holy Roman Empire during the Napoleonic wars, and died later the same day Germany was born. So yes, Germany is Holy Rome reincarnated, Holy Rome's second chance.**

** Anyway, as the youngest country, Germany is relatively shy but he is also physically four years old. Surprisingly enough to England and Portugal, Germany has quite a sweet tooth. He has a fascination with wood and metal, and like America is inventive. Unlike America, he is willing to listen to orders.**

**Young! Russia: Unlike the others, he doesn't have a parental figure in his life. Since Ukraine is not much older than he is, she doesn't count in his mind. Thanks to this, he doesn't know how to defend himself, or open up to potential allies. He does have a fascination with flowers though. Due to fear of starvation, he'll eat quite a bit, though not as much as America.**

*** This is a quote from the American novel To Kill a Mockingbird that I had to read for school. I couldn't help but add that in there.**


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